mbs

Flash Gordon - a dirty white raincoat a pair of similarly grubby underpants with the label of a bottle of Gordons Gin stuck on the front, I will leave the rest to your imagination.

Sorry master willwithdraw my bid, hunble humble.

John goes to his Doctors office and is seen firstly by the nurse. He says to the nurse, "Promise me you will not laugh." "Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional nurse. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient." "Okay then," John said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest todger the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than an AAA battery. Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling then fell laughing to the floor. After ten minutes she is able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure. "I'm so sorry," said the nurse. "I don't know what came over me. On my honour as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen," John replied.

I have a bet most days in the NH season but the National is one race I only watch, never bet, too much of a lottery, however if I was having one it would be Hear the Echo or Rambling Minster.

Oh bugger

We're driving down to Dartmouth in September to my god-daughters wedding,and have decided to spend a few days down there. We are booked into a hotel in Dartmouth for Friday & saturday but would welcome any recommendations for accomodation for the rest of the week in Devon or Cornwall, food must be good but forget the media hyped establishments like Rick Stein etc. Thanks

Brilliant, I'm sure you need that up in Cumbria

Cheers I have final tabled on all of my last four live tournaments. Will be another 100 player tournament tonight. Too big for me but all the best

Not bad myself had that Ninetieth minute at 16/1 Flat season starts on saturday which i really enjoy Playing my tuesday poker tournament tonight Glad you got sorted All the best tonight, playing Friday night, only small game though but I enjoy.

Thanks Beavis yes a MK3, just bought a new mirror from your guy for £20 including delivery. BTW had a great Cheltenham made money each day, one day we'll have to have a game of cards.

I know some of you guys run punto's as second cars so can you help me. Some pleasant chap in Sainsbury's carpark managed to break the glass in the wing mirror with his huge 4x4 apologised and i settled on the spot for 2 crisp £20 notes, anyone got a spare I could buy or have I got to go to to the local dealer.

Got my wife's niece staying this weekend, a scot who loves the rugby. Could be a few problems come 3.30 this afternoon.

Mods, delete if too riskay but it is late at night. This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read ... This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters. Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go. Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity. At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. 'Mist all chucking frighty!!!' said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper. The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. 'Who's fust jarted??' asked the prandsome hince. 'Blame that fugly ucker over there!!' said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!

Surely this can be reset to zero by keeping the button depressed

My car insurance when I was 21 was £4.6s.10p a year so I'll leave you to work out how old i was when i got the Zed.

Hello &

Coming out of Scarborough, waved no response, then realised I was in the Punto

Yes got mine done for £180 but I took my own oil & filter so £220 total

On Sunday morning in Rue Dansaert, carded it.

Really tough, but don't worry, soon be Cheltenham

Hello &

Just had my P3 sevice done at Atkins Motor Engineers, Nissan approved repairers. Great job, took my own oil & filter (from Opie Oils). Charged me £175 inc VAT and including courtesy car for the day. Recommend them.

PC never was one of my strong points

I used Warranty Direct less than £400