a classic
Nick the Dragon Slayer had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful
Queen's
voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this would be death.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the
Physician, who was the King's chief doctor.
Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon
Slayer to satisfy
his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without
pause,
Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and
poured a little bit
into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the
itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio
the
Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied
for four hours,
would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva
of Nick the
Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.
The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then
slipped Nick the
Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into
his mouth, and for the
next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and
magnificent breasts.
The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left
satisfied and was touted as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the
Physician demanding
his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the
Dragon Slayer couldn't
have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report
this matter to
the King, shooed him away with no payment made.
The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same
itching powder into the King's shorts.
The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...
MORAL OF THE STORY: Pay your bills
An Irishman found an old oil lamp and rubbed it. Out came a Genie who said,
"Master you have released me from the lamp and I grant you three
wishes, what would you like"
The Irishman scratched his head for a few moments, then answered,
"I wish for a bottle of Guinness that never gets empty."
"Granted master" replied the Genie and produced the bottle.
The Irishman was delighted and immediately poured himself a tall
glass of the dark brew. After he drained the glass he picked up
the bottle and sure enough it was full again. The Irishman got
drunk on this one magic Guinness bottle for three weeks before he
remembered that he had two more wishes.
He rubbed the lamp again and the Genie appeared.
"Yes master, you have two more wishes, what would you like?"
"You remember that magic, never ending Guinness bottle?" he asks
the Genies. "Well, for my final two wishes, I'd like another two of them"
Three women were returning to their Hungarian village
when they spotted a man, obviously very inebriated, walking
ahead of them. As they watched him stumbling, he fell face
down into a mud puddle.
When they walked up to him, one woman turned him over to see
if she recognized him. However, his face was so covered with
mud that she bent over and unzipped his pants. She remarked,
"Well, he's not my husband."
The second woman peering over her shoulder agreed, "Your
right, he's not your husband."
The third woman, somewhat older than the other two, bent
over to look and said, "He's not from our village."