smudga Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Oneliners Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "How areyou getting on?" Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else" A gypsy girl sent an email to an agony Aunt "I am 12 years old and haven't had sex yet, do you think my brother is queer ?" My missus has just gone into hospital with 2 black eyes and a broken jaw! It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled ?" "No" she replies "its just regular porn you sicko" A biker goes to the Doctor with hearing problems "Can you describe the Symptoms to me". "Yes.....Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marg is a skinny bird with big blue hair!!" And then there was my mate who'd just been fitted with a brand new hearing aid. "It's the best in the world", he said. "What type is it?", I asked and he said "ten past twelve". Drinking is Like Yoga, or is Yoga like drinking? Food for thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stanski Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 just sent them round my work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren-B Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 funny though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smudga Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 funny though Well I hadn't seen them before... maybe I need to get out more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren-B Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Or stay in on your PC more Its all good though, still makes the day brighter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtbiscuit Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 seen before but still funny, the vicar one always makes me laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.