AndyC

What I did on my summer holiday - By Theo Walcott Esq aged 8 1/2 I went to a place called Germany with my Uncle Sven and some other grown ups. It is a country in Europe where a bad man called Adolf used to live with his nazties. He does not live there anymore. Uncle Owen does live there, and the grown ups say I can't talk about the bad man as it will make Uncle Owen cry if I do. In Germany there are lots of castles and some mountains. We are staying in a place called Baden Baden. That's a silly name. Uncle Frank has the same name as his dad, that's silly too. His mum must get their underpants mixed up all the time. On the aeroplane Uncle Sol sat next to me. He got me some sweets and wants to be my friend. He works at the place where I do my YTS, so does Uncle Freddy but him and Uncle Sol are not best friends anymore. Uncle Owen met us at the airport, he talks foreign. Uncle Wayne,Uncle Steven and Uncle David also talk funny. My mum says Uncle David talks like Orville, he is a duck. Uncle Sol says uncle David wears dresses and knickers, and asked me if I had ever worn them. Uncle Sol got me some pop. In Germany the grown ups are going to play football. My granddad says we beat them in the olden days before my mum was born. That is a long time ago. While the grown ups went to play football, I went shopping with Auntie Vicky and some other girls. She bought me a big ice cream and got herself a little one but she said she was full before she had eaten any and threw it away. She bought lots of shoes and handbags and let me play with Brooklyn. She says she used to be in a pop band and sang me one of her songs. I think she was telling fibs. I told Uncle Sol about my day out with Vicky and he sulked, then he bought me an even bigger ice cream with lots of hundreds & thousands on it, and a flake. All the other grown ups have a girlfriend except Uncle Sol so he plays with me while they go out. Uncle Sven says I must keep Uncle Sol happy - that's why I got taken on holiday. The grown ups went to play Football against somebody called Sweden. Uncle Sol was crying as Uncle Freddy played for them and would not talk to him. Uncle Sol bought me lots of sweets today and some crisps. Uncle Sven is from Sweden and I heard him on the phone to their boss last night. Uncle Michael hurt his knee and had to go home to his mum for a plaster. Uncle Peter is a giant, a proper giant like you see in books, he is rubbish at football though. Uncle Wayne had a sore toe at the start of our holiday but it got better so they let him play football. Uncle Sol got me a present but I do not like it. He says all Germans wear leather underpants and I should while we are here. They are too tight for me. All the grown ups started to call Uncle Wayne a potato head who stood on somebody's winkie. He got shouted at by the referee. They are all saying that we have to go home now. Uncle Sol was crying again and I had to sit on his knee to make him stop. He had his mobile phone in his pocket, I think.

good effort!!!

Thanks Andy.... Only started this topic for a little bit of congratulations No worries bud, well deserved! Now do some W O R K!!!!

Don't think they could have the same "relationship" if Liam had the metallic voice tho!!! Which Liam Either/or. But lets say Sarnie cos he clearly aint around at the moment , oh and just seen his status - nice moves guys!! Gave me a nice big chuckle! I don't reckon you should change it back regardless.....

Oh & Liam btw - , well done fella!

Don't think they could have the same "relationship" if Liam had the metallic voice tho!!!

Bloody ell, think I need to buy some more lightweight shoes!

Mike How long have Aberdeen been a British club? We talking the whole of Great Britain??? Aberdeen is clearly a British club (as opposed to English). Thing is that with speed reading you kind of register English, especially with all the other English clubs mentioned. Its one of those you read too quick and don't really take it all in things. Think you've got it there Mike, well done

...more Ronaldo!

...all is now revealed!

Wish I had mate, just clearing out my inbox!

Good to see he's got more strings to his bow than just football

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you, because I was pi**ed. I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot This describes everything you are not. I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Damn, I'm good at telling lies! My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way? My feelings for you no words can tell Except for maybe "Go To Hell". What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Awww, scheisse......

Yeah, but wouldn't it be great?

The problem your experiencing is the main problem with the hands free system. Everybody seems to think that the blue tooth adapter is gonna sole all the issues with the kit. Wrong. The blue tooth adapter is just a different way on connecting your phone to the system. The quality of the system is the issue. Even with the old hands free anybody who you speak to will say that either you sound like darth vader or you sounds miles away. What you have to do is relocate the aerial that is stuck to the inside of the windscreen, behind the mirror, as far right as possible to get a better reception. Apparently. Great suggestion mate, reckon I'll take a look at that at the weekend if I get chance. What about my German woman though? Ah ha, I've got it, Val - can you nip into my system and sort her out please?

Class

Hopefully I've attached this right, if not I'm a mong and I apologise[/img]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUM8XOKE_Do

I can't see any way that you can alter any car kit settings without speaking to it and if it's in German, that's obviously a problem mate. Suggest you take it to the stealers. Alternatively, I'll buy you a german translation book. Does this mean you have to hold your telephone conversations in German as well? Neil Thanks for the offer mate, very much appreciated Yeah also gotta hold all conversations in German which is a problem being as how I got kicked off it at GCSE for writing my mock exam in English

Well, there is that I suppose, could come in useful sometime. Think the easiest way is to run it into the stealer, no probs with the BT adaptor itself. Plus sounds very distant to the receiving caller when on a call too, sounds like the actual system isn't the best. I hadn't used it with a cradle so didn't know before now!

Yeah, great eh? Speaking to Mr.F it looks like theres a problem with the base unit or with the settings.

Oh and wasn't it the bizarrest feeling in the world screaming at the telly for France!! Never thought I'd be doing that....

I'm hoping its gonna be a good game without someone scoring early doors and then just sitting back, like what happened last night. If ZZ switches it on (and he still looked great last night) then its all set for a cracker as Italy haven't looked like the usual very defensive side that we've come to expect. I'm well looking forward to it and over the moon that those cheating scum are out, no change in there tactics last night either. Should have been yellow cards out galore for those blatant dives.