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A lad asks his gran, 'have you seen my pills? they've got LSD written on them!' '**** your pills!' replies gran. 'Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!'

 

 

 

Internet warning : if you get an e-mail titled "Nude photo of Susan Boyle" Do not open it.

It contains a nude photo of Susan Boyle

 

 

 

A neds wedding in Glasgow ends in a riot, the polis arrests 20 and they end up in court. Best man says to judge 'Can I explain what happened? Its Glasga tradition for the best man to have first dance with the bride which I did. I was dancin very close. The groom runs at us and kicked his bride in the funny!'. ' Gosh' says the judge. 'that musta been sore." "sore?"he broke 3 of my ****in fingers!!"

 

 

 

Just driving my new Toyota Prius

Chat later, cant stop!

 

 

Mental patient is in hospital when a nurse catches him with his willy inbetween 2 biscuts! "what are you doing?" She asks. "I'm ****ing crackers" he replied!

 

 

Just bought the wife a new bag and belt for valentines day.

 

The hoover works a treat now!

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