Hey ya - glad you seem to be sorted - this should give you a bit of a chuckle after your initial stress. I'm following in your footsteps a little, picked my Zed up on the Sunday just gone and after a couple of work journeys had similar concerns I'd noticed what the pressures were doing. No issue with mine actually, because I read some topics on this forum and realised she's behaving quite normally BUT .. I figured I'd look at this dipstick reading issue anyway and check my oil level.
I get it, it's confusing right? But again - this thread helped me so loving this forum! Mine was on the low side, but covered the "L" so not as low as yours was. Topped up a bit for good measure will read again at weekend. All good so far right?
Until it came to replacing the dipstick. I took it out, didnt really take much notice of WHERE it came out from!! My old classic car dipstick went in around the bottom of the engine, pretty much just straight into the sump and without really thinking much I was looking around the lower end of my Zed engine, with my phone flashlight for at least 5 minutes to figure out where to put it back!! I even checked this forum with no luck..
When I finally noticed the bleedin obvious dipstick hole and where it is,..... Doh..
But what a joy to drive eh?... Best drive to work I have had in years that's for sure.